Schedule Envy

     Amanda, who is my youngest daughter and a frustrated super senior (5th year), was home this week from college.  Due to a lack of finances, she spent the last spring break of her collegiate career at home with her parents. Fortunately for Amanda, we happen to live in the world famous spring break hot spot of...          Milwaukee!  28 degrees and snowing!  Par-tay!
      Okay, she wasn't really with her parents.  We did get some face time and we did get to dine with her, (dinner for us - lunch for her) but most of her time was spent either sleeping or with her friends.  As always when she is home, her schedule is a source of interest to my wife, Chris and I.
     This is how her schedule appeared to us;
      1300 - Wake up
      1330 - Come downstairs in pajamas and robe.  Pour a bowl of museli
      1345 - Take museli down to basement and watch TV
      1415 - Finish museli, set bowl on floor, play Super Mario Galaxy (cat licks bowl clean)
      1730 - Emerge from basement, say hi to parents returning from work, go up and use all the hot water in the house via shower
      1830 - Finish shower, dress, and come down for lunch (our dinner) with parents
      1930 - Watch TV with parents, complain about lame shows being viewed.
      2130 - Parents retire for evening
      2200 - Go "out" with friends
      0130 - Come home, grab dinner (box of Girl Scout cookies), and watch TV in room
      ????  - Fall asleep.
     Now then.  What do you think of this schedule?  Here is how I see it.  If this schedule was typical of her life, I would say OMG!
     I think what I have to realize is that she was on vacation.  In her real life, she is pounding 18 credits and working 30 hours per week.  I don't get to witness the all-the-time go-getter version, all I see is the one week lazy bum version.  When I view things in that context I guess I don't mind picking up cat cleaned cereal bowls or empty Girl Scout cookie boxes so much.  Well - I don't really do that, Chris does, but I wouldn't mind it if I did it!

On to a question of my own invention.

       Dear Dad Dude,
       My five-year-old son does not talk to me, he whines to me.  Typically he sounds something like this, "Daaaad,  Billy won't let me play with hiiiiiim."  It drives me nuts!  It seems to me that everything that comes out of his mouth is a whiny request about something or other. How can I put a stop to this behavior?
- Headache in Hoboken

     Dear Headache,
     From my experience, people engage in behavior that has been successful for them in the past.  The more success they have had, the more cemented the behavior.  My guess here is when your son whined about Billy, you went out and yelled at Billy, didn't you?  If you did, you rewarded your whiny son's behavior, which will ensure more of it.  My advice is never give your son what he is whining about.  Tell him that if he cannot speak to you in a normal voice, you will not even pay attention to him.  Then you must DO what you say.  You need to change your behavior before he will change his.  It won't be easy because his first response will be to go back to the well and whine even harder.  But stick to your guns!  When whining no longer works, he will cast about for a new annoying way to get what he wants!


     Well, that's it!  Another installment in the can. If you read it and even kind of liked it, send a link to a friend or six.   Also, please know that I am in no way trained in family counseling or am I a doctor or any kind of relationship professional.  I am just a dude that's been there.   Agree or not - the choice is 100% yours!
 
     Thanks for reading!

Oh, and PLEASE write your questions to; daddude@wi.rr.com