Now that my daughters are adults with their own lives - oh they still claim they need me, but it's not the same - it's down to just Chris and me. I love Chris and all, but she will never regard me as being the all knowing, all powerful lord of the manor. No how - no way! (of course I wouldn't want that anyway - would I?)
Okay, I think I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What are you, some kind of megalomaniac?" Aren't you? I know, I know, saying I miss being the all knowing, all powerful lord of the manor sounds bad. In fact it sounds down right narcissistic, but I do not intend it that way.
It was just very nice, very rewarding to be, well, Dad. The Dad you go to for answers, the Dad that kicks your butt when you get out of line, the Dad that is there to comfort you when you fall off your bike, the Dad that shields you from the enormity the big cold world and metes it out to you in doses you can digest, the Dad that opens the full world of possibilities to you, the Dad that goads you on to finish that ride all the way.
It was just very cool to be that guy, and now it is over, the job is complete, and I never really thought it would be. I never even saw it happen, but now it is just so.
Oh well, on to a letter. We have an actual letter this week. The fact that I have an actual letter is the reason I even decided to quit rationalizing being too busy and revisit this blog for the first time in a long, long time. I'd say that I will try to do better, but I know me.
Okay, here is the letter.
Here is a current situation: My granddaughters will be attending a new school in a few weeks. They are entering fourth and sixth grades and they have been in their present school since preschool. They are very negative about the move. I will be picking them up after school four days per week and I know it will be a difficult period of transition for them. What suggestions do you have for me to be of help to them? - Sent from my iPad
Dear Sent from my iPad,
Obviously no child want's to go to a new school and naturally there will be a ton of resistance to it. How it all plays out will depend, first on your granddaughters' attitude, second on the other kids in the school, and third on the school itself. Seeing as you have no control over the other kids and the school, let's focus on the girls.
I suggest that you work on bolstering their attitudes before they set foot in the new school. Remind them of other times in their lives when they resisted change, only to find out later the change was for the better. You could tell them this is their opportunity to be anyone they want to be because no one knows them. Hammer home that how they act will determine how they are perceived. Sure, it's a downer they had to leave the school they were comfortable with, but new opportunities await. Tell them it's normal to be cautious of the unknown, but that you will be there to help them through.
Then, when you pick them up, ask them how the new opportunities are panning out. Listen intently. Make sure that what they perceive as negatives actually are, and if they are, offer them the tools to deal with them. And ask them how they might have handled situations differently for better results.
You are doing your granddaughters a huge service here. By helping them through this major change, you will be helping them to deal with major changes for the rest of their lives. I take my hat off to you!
Well, that's it! Another installment in the can. If you read it and even kind of liked it, send a link to a friend or six. Also, please know that I am in no way trained in family counseling or am I a doctor or any kind of relationship professional. I am just a dude that's been there. Agree or not - the choice is 100% yours!
Thanks for reading!
Oh, and PLEASE write your questions to; firstname.lastname@example.org
(PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE!!!)